Attention Twitter users. Here is a new must-follow account: @femscriptintros.

Helmed by producer Ross Putman, @femscriptintros reveals the wretched ways actual Hollywood screenplays introduce actual (or maybe “actual”) female characters. In each case, the name of said female character has been changed to “Jane” to protect the identities of the screenwriters and their work. Otherwise, these passages are unchanged. And they completely suuuuuck.

Here is a sampling of some of the worst offenders shared by @femscriptintros so far:

Raw Sexual Force is my favorite Shannon Tweed Cinemax movie. Next!

Won’t someone help these poor, beautiful women come out of their shells? The world is being denied their hotness! Their great physical beauty should be allowed to coexist with their professional careers!

Lithe and leggy. With a combination like that, no wonder she’s not afraid to speak her mind.

Okay, as long as its a sexy silhouette. I hate silhouettes that aren’t sexy. They’re my #1 turnoff.

Okay, but is it a sexy paramedic’s uniform? Or a boring normal paramedic’s uniform?

Gotta hook those readers early! And what’s a better hook than a woman who’s adorable and sexy? (For the record, this is exactly how I describe myself to people, right down to the part where I’m 23.)

For sake of comparison, I would love to see how commensurate male characters were introduced in these screenplays. Was as much made of their sexiness, and their attempts to disguise that sexiness so they can fit into normal society as nurses or microscope technicians? Or were they allowed to be human beings with things like emotions and identities beyond their physical looks? I wonder. (No, I don’t. I know the answer.) Anyway, this is a great and eye-opening Twitter account. Follow it.

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