6 Careers You Can Make a Ton of Money Doing — Even If You’re an Absolute Moron
There are some jobs out there that you can make a serious amount of money doing even if you’ve never been described as “smart” or “able to solve simple problems” or “having the ability to read.”
Let me start out by saying that not everyone who works these jobs is an absolute moron. I’m sure there are fantastic, delightful people who happened to get these jobs, the same way that there are doctors and scientists who are slightly stupid.
Let’s take a look at a few careers that you can make a ton of money doing, even if you’re an idiot.
Hot Dog Vendor
By no means am I mocking the hot dog industry. In fact, I am a huge fan of what they do, and the wonderful treats they produce. Let’s be honest, though, it can’t be that difficult. My mom would let me make hot dogs when I was like 10 because anyone can do it. If you’re a hot dog vendor, there isn’t that much to do during the day. You put the hot dog in the bun and the customer does the rest. There isn’t that much clean up at the end of the night either, your workspace is a 3 feet long cart! Despite that, some vendors with just a single cart make up to $100,000 per year. Kind of makes you want to ditch that tie and start slingin’ hot dogs, huh?
You know those girls that walk around the club or bar selling watered-down shots? According to the Wall Street Journal, she’s pulling in some decent money for a night of standing there holding a tray. They’re paid, on average, 25 cents per shot they sell, plus tips. That doesn’t sound like a lot, but over the course of a night, it adds up quickly. On a side note, according to the report, Jell-O shots cost less than a quarter to make and sell for $3 or $4 each. Can I bring my own Jell-O to the club? Is that allowed?
The requirements for live mannequin include standing perfectly still, and that’s it. You have to stand still all day. You don’t talk or create any ideas, you stand there. While that sounds like hell for anyone with ADHD, the reported $100/hour salary definitely makes it more appealing to anyone that dreams of doing literally nothing for a living.
Golf Ball Diver
Remember that scene in ‘Happy Gilmore’ when he dives into the water to find his golf ball? You can do that for a living! Most courses pay 10 cents per golf ball which could lead to big money if you have your own diving equipment or you’ve seen a lot of episodes of ‘Hillbilly Handfishin’. Not only do you make decent money, your job is to swim around in a pond. How awesome is that? It’s every 12-year-old boy’s dream.
Paper Towel Sniffer
Technically falling under the category of Odor Judge, a paper towel sniffer can make $1,000 per week just by sniffing different scented paper towels. Out of the Odor Judges, this is the least disgusting gig. Others include sniffing arm pits for deodorant companies and a halitosis judge who smells bad breath in order to see if the patient has tooth decay or gum problems. The paper towel sniffer just picks what scents they enjoy the most. I’ll take that job, please.
This one is the lazy person’s dream. You can make almost a quarter of a million dollars per year getting into the cold bed of a person with more money than they know what to do with, and warming it up for them so it’s nice and toasty when they want to sleep. You just lie there wearing your fleece pajamas. What does the application for this job look like? More importantly, where can I get one?