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Find Love in 2013? You Can!

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Photo by Sharon Buck

Being a single mom and having been divorced…twice…you would think that putting myself out there to find someone to share my life would be a scary thing to do.

Well, you are right. It is scary.

Who wants to put themselves out there when they’ve had to deal with heartbreak? Who wants to have people know that it didn’t work out…twice. Once, yeah, that’s typical in this day and age. But twice? It makes you feel like a failure. Trust me. I’ve been there.

But there’s hope. There’s ALWAYS hope.

I’m an eternal optimist. I always have been. I’ve seen the example that my parents, Ray and Mary, have shown me. They had some hard times but they always managed to stay together. My sisters, brother and I have heard the yelling growing up. More importantly, we heard more of the apologies and saw the forgiveness, the smiles, hugs and laughter. 51 years nowadays is unheard of.

I was married for 11 years and also for almost 5. Being in the public eye at times like that, it’s not very fun. Yeah, I did the crying, the begging, the woe is me. Who hasn’t? You’ve heard me talk and read about me starting over. It’s not easy. I know I’m not alone when I say “I’m a good person. Why can’t I find that right one?”

You can. I know it’s difficult to do…but you can!

If finding a partner in life, someone to spend time with, is your goal this year, there are many ways to try and find that person. I, personally, know 4 couples in the past 2 years that met online at dating websites. 1 from Match.com, 2 from eHarmony.com and 1 from, believe it or not, Facebook.

I have heard people talk about joining and telling me that they see the same people on all the sites. Because they do see them there, that they must be there only trying to get some ‘tail.’ Well, there ARE some people like that but then you have to think to yourself: YOU are looking at multiple sites, too. Don’t judge someone else because they put themselves out there, too!

If you are active or have a hobby, finding groups that do the same thing is a great way to meet people. The gym, church, concerts, even hanging out with friends at their hobbies and interests can help you meet someone new!

On Facebook, I love to post about my relationship with Chad. I have been so lucky to find a wonderful man that loves me AND my son and is a great father to his children. He always puts family first and takes very good care of us. I know I post about the tiniest things that happen whether it be we all played a game together or how we all ate dinner together. It all wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been open to finding out more about a man that I had known for, now, almost 7 years. The VERY BEST THING that could happen to you could be right under your nose!

It WON’T happen unless you DO put yourself out there. Being burned time after time, it hurts. It hurts ALOT. Men and women BOTH have scars. Remember, that the person you meet has been through tough times, too. Leave the past behind. I have a hard time with that but I’m getting better at it. While talking about the past shouldn’t be done on the first date, with time opening up will happen. There are times when the other person in your relationship is wondering “Why did he/she do that?” or “Why would they even think that?” It’s because the past is hard to let go of.  The point is to work on letting that go and trusting and believing in the person you are with.

People write to me all the time how it gives them hope that I have a good relationship. I’m not going to tell you it’s perfect. We have our disagreements. We both have had to apologize, BUT we are willing to work at what we have!

Take a chance this year! Get out and be active! When someone smiles at you, smile back! It’s the BEST first impression you can give someone. If you want something to happen, sometimes YOU need to make the first move. I know it’s nerveracking (I’ve been there) but you never know if you don’t try.

Here’s to your happiness! Here’s to trying new things! Here’s to a brand new year! Make it count!

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