Note To My Kids – See What I Put Up With!

Mother's Day is Sunday, May 10th.  If you didn't know this already...Shame!  It's no secret that I have a lot of kiddos.  If you didn't know this already...Shame!  I have 6, to be exact.  Never a dull moment and as I think of all the things I have had to endure in this journey called "Motherhood", I deserve far more than some school made project.  I deserve a Mercedes or at least a trip to Bora Bora. 

Let me share with you just a few things that I've experienced, just this year alone:

• Here's a school poem my oldest wrote about his sister:  I have a sister named Emma, Who to me, smells like a llama.  Her blabber mouth is so big, she eats like a pig, I think this poem is going to cause a lot of drama.  That was a fun fight to diffuse (Note sarcasm)
• Ever heard of the game you play on a slide "Bumper Cars"...well, my creative little dickens came up with a similar one called "don't clog the toilet"...do you need an explanation?  The stuck up moms at the playground were impressed (note sarcasm)
• Phone call from school...my child swallowed a paperclip
• Phone call from school...my other child put paper in his ear and it's stuck
• Phone call from school...another child broke his collar bone in an epic game of tuck and roll
• Youngest child came up to me the other day.  She got a lesson in anatomy from her older siblings.  She informed me that girls have "jay jays" and boys have "tallywhacks".
• I spoil the lil spawns by taking them to Disney/Universal.  Their way of saying "Thanks mom, You're the best"...is by 1 puking at Magic Kingdom, 1 puking at Medieval Times, 1 puking at Universal Studios & 1 puking at Hooters.  (Yes..Hooters..don't judge me)
• Let's not forget that they always exceed their daily quota of "Mum, mum, mumma, Mom".

OK...I've got a confession.  I'm not as perfect as some might think...OK, as I might think.  I definitely cut corners when it comes to parenting.  For example:

• I will "accidentally" blurt out the answer to my son's math homework...just to get it done quicker.
• When I'm too lazy to cook, I will just add cooked hamburg to canned spaghetti and give it a creative name.
• When my daughter told me about the jay jays and tallywhacks...all I could do was laugh, give her a fist bump and say "Yup".  I should have corrected her.
• When my oldest was little and I wanted him to come inside because it was getting late, I'd tell him the monsters come out 7pm.  Success each time!
• I use the same above excuse at bedtime...if they get out of bed, the monsters will come out of the closets.  Success each time!  (The clincher: They don't have closets)
• When my 8-year-old son came to me with a "really bad" stomachache, I told him "Buck up bucko...you're fine".  Turned out to be appendicitis.
• When my children were babies...and I questioned if they had an ear infection...I'd yank on their ear to see if they'd scream.  If they didn't...they didn't mind.  If they did scream...mystery solved, am I right?

Still think I deserve a Mercedes or a trip to Bora Bora?  Ok, probably not.  But I do the best I can as a parent...and that's all I can do.  Happy Mother's to anyone who plays the role in a child's life.