Professional writer for Uproxx.com, GammaSquad.com, Guyspeak.com, Guyism.com, Zug.com, and innumerable other sites. He writes the Internet, basically.
Dan Seitz
Kittens Are The Most Adorable Sports Fans
Ask anybody who owns a cat: Cats love sports. Not because they love the interplay of human achievement at the highest level with physics and chance, or because they love statistics and analysis. No, they love sports because a small ball goes flying around, riveting their attention...
Happy 68th Birthday, Godzilla!
The star of the longest film franchise in history turns 68 today, celebrating a long career in film, animation, and advertising. We are referring, of course, to the King of the Monsters himself, Godzilla. Below, a retrospective of his highs and lows.
Woman “Shot Dead” At Wheel Just Drunk Zombie
Some costumes are awesome in their cleverness, or awesome in their humor, or awesome because they're so convincing. Of course, sometimes a convincing costume will cost you, as an anonymous Birmingham woman found out.
Drug Smugglers Try To Cross Border Fence With Ramps… And Get Stuck
Drug smugglers try to get across the border fence in a multitude of different ways, ranging from digging tunnels to climbing the wall. But a particularly industrious group tried to do it with a little engineering... and failed miserably.
The Internet Picks Out ‘The Simpsons’ Funniest Signs
The Simpsons is not a show that's shy about stuffing gags into every corner of the frame. And, after nearly a quarter century on the air, the show has quite a few signs. Here's a strip of what seems to be the Internet's favorite gags from the beloved show. Fair warning, it's a long image.
Thief Thwarted In Hilarious Swedish Ad
We don't want to ruin this ad, so we're not going to tell you what company it's for, or what it does. We'll only tell you that it's from Sweden and that it's a riff on Apple Store robberies that happen occasionally. Suffice to say it demonstrates that some companies are very much on top of their game...
‘NOLA to New York’ Features Katrina Survivors Sending Hope to Sandy’s Victims
Superstorm Sandy has caused a lot of damage. People have died, homes have been destroyed, businesses have been ruined. Americans across the country are reaching out by donating money, time, food, and clothing, but they're also reaching out with message of hope in the blog NOLA To New York.
Obese Dachshund At Center Of Facebook Custody Battle
You may have heard about Obie the Obese Dachshund, a dog that weighs 77 pounds and is literally twice the weight of a healthy dog. The good news is that Obie is currently on a diet and engaged in hydrotherapy (he's too fat to walk, literally.) The bad news is that he's currently the center of a bitter custody battle.
Football Player Flips Over Would-Be Tackle
There's a lot of argument over this anonymous clip. Not about the guy doing a forward flip right over the person about to tackle him: That's obviously a display of athleticism. No, some people think it was "staged" and others argue it happened spontaneously...
Just In Time For Halloween, Here’s A Creepy Science Video About Brains
It's Halloween in just a few short days, and that means a lot of brains: Frankenstein monsters looking for them, zombies munching on them, aliens exposing them in creepy experiments. But how much do we know about the brain? Could we survive getting them eaten...
Meet The Man Who Lived In Hotels On Stolen Credit Cards… For Twenty Years
Credit card fraud is one of the more annoying aspects of modern life. Thankfully, federal law limits your liability to $50, which is a good thing considering guys like Jeffrey Hawkins are around.
Here’s How A Baby Leopard Carves Pumpkins
This is a baby clouded leopard. Clouded leopards are generally found in China, and sadly their populations are decreasing. Hence, zoos are trying to preserve the species. They also like to give their adorable babies pumpkins to chew on...
Ronald McDonald Broke The Law By Going To McDonald’s
You'd think if your name is Ronald McDonald, you would be welcome in any of the thousands of McDonald's restaurants around the world.
In certain situations, however, this is not the case.
Beaverton Police Take Hamster Into Protective Custody
Pulling over a driver suspected of being impaired is unfortunately far too common for most police officers.
Having to take a hamster into protective custody, on the other hand, is somewhat outside the usual scope of police duty. And yet, in Beaverton, OR, they were called on to do just that.
Sedated Dog Sounds Just Like Chewbacca
This is Aero. He went to the vet for treatment, which he recovered handily. But in the meantime, this is what he sounds like when he's expressing displeasure under sedation. The results sound eerily similar to Chewbacca:
So that's how they did it...
Big Tex, Beloved Landmark, Burns In Accidental Fire
Big Tex, the beloved mascot of the Texas State Fair who stood at the gates greeting fairgoers for sixty years, caught fire yesterday. Even the hardest-bitten cowboy is shedding a tear today.