You gotta earn the right to call yourself a Mainer.

I've been in Maine for 37 years. I know I will never be a Mainer. That's okay. I get it. Maine is a state where you gotta earn that right. But what exactly defines a Mainer? It's not as simple as just being born in the state. Oh sure, we'll give an exception to the beautiful Mainers. Yeah, I'm talking to you, Anna Kendrick and Patrick Dempsey. But are they true Mainers?

I was schooled by 80-year-old Paulie as I had an ice cream cone. We shared a picnic table. She was there with her friends (also 80). The conversation drifted over to me asking,

Are you Mainers?

Paulie's eyes lit right up and said that being born here didn't count. Having your parents and your grandparents and you born here didn't count.

Several pairs of Bean boots didn't count. Liking lobster more than anything else didn't count.

The true definition of a Mainer is:

You have to have FIVE generations of born and raised Mainers. AND all of them have to be buried here.

Then Paulie proudly announced, she was a Mainer. Her two friends were not.

That's quite the threshold. Do you know anyone who passes that test as a true Mainer? I actually know quite a few. If you are a transplant and call yourself a Mainer, don't worry about it...it's okay. Just don't call yourself a Mainer in front of Paulie. She might take issue with it.