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Maker’s Mark Stops Watering Down Their Bourbon, Vacation Day Requests Skyrocket

Maker's Mark
makersmark.com

In an attempt to not be tortured and burned at the stake by their customer base, executives at Maker’s Mark have announced that the distillery no longer plans to cut their world famous bourbon with water.

Over the weekend, Maker’s Mark chief operating officer Rob Samuels said that the company does not intend to follow through with their initial scheme of reducing the alcohol content in each bottle from the historic level of 45 percent to 42 percent in order to keep up with overwhelming demands in production and distribution.

In a statement released on Sunday, the company wrote to its customers: “You spoke. We listened. And we’re sincerely sorry we let you down.”

Even though the bourbon producer spent nearly three months experimenting with ways to cut the alcohol content without changing the flavor, Maker’s Mark President Bill Samuels says that the company failed to realize just how loyal their customers were to the brand’s recipe, which has not been changed in over 50 years.

“Our focus was on the supply problem. That led to us focusing on a solution,” he said. “We got it totally wrong.”

Executive at Maker’s Mark say that the lynch mob came at them in full force immediately following the announcement to change the composition of their bourbon. Both Bill and Rob Samuels agree that in their determination to fix their supply shortage issues, they lost sight of what was really important – a quality product and customer satisfaction.

It’s really rare and impressive when a company admits they are wrong publicly, and rights their wrong at the expense of profit. Thanks, Maker’s Mark — you’ve just made us your newest life-long customers.

Speaking of which, anyone wanna go get a drink? It’s 5:00 somewhere? Just us? We’ll be at the bar.

Next: Good News -- Alcoholic Ice Cream is a Thing Now

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