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Rules to Help You Survive a Halloween Horror Movie

Getty Images, photo by Thomas Lohnes

Now that Halloween is here there will be plenty of horror movies, and from those movies, we can learn a lesson in how not to die in a horror film. The rules can apply anytime of the year for any type of scary movie. Follow these simple rules and you’ll stay alive.

If your children start speaking in a language they should not know, kill them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run.

Never read a book on demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

Do not solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

If you’re running from the monster expect to fall down at least twice, more if you’re a female and she will probably sprain her ankle.

Even if the monster if walking along slowly and you are running as fast as you can, for some reason, he’s right behind you.

Beware of strangers bearing strange tools such as: chainsaws, lawnmowers, band saws, hedge trimmers and devices made from the dead.

If appliances start operating by themselves, don’t check for a short circuit, just get out.

And finally, if it appears you have killed the monster, never check to see if he’s dead.

Have a safe Halloween!

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