To the Portland, Maine, Woman at the Elevator – I’m Sorry, I Didn’t Mean It
Dear Mystery Woman,
I hate that this happened. Honestly, I hate that this happened with a passion and no words will even remotely come close to being able to drive that point across with the meaning that I want it to.
And while I want to say that this wasn't my fault and it was just horrible timing, at the same time, I pride myself on owning my mistakes and bettering myself from them, and I need to take whatever amount of responsibility I have in this for what happened.
Because I can only imagine how you felt and what you looked like when this went down, and I can also only imagine how annoyed, furious, and possibly insulted you felt. And rightfully so.
Let me explain, though. When I got into the elevator, nobody was around. Nobody remotely in sight or within earshot. So, I decided to channel my inner basic stereotypical Millennial/Gen Z self (even though I'm not in Gen Z) and do what we do best -- whip out my phone, scroll through Instagram, and send a text to pass the time.
It was as the doors were closing and I was mid-text that I heard it -- that I heard you.
No, wait, hold on!
Since I couldn't see you as the doors were closing, I'm assuming you couldn't see me, either. So, let me tell you what happened on my end from inside the elevator, and I'm just going to hope that you believe me and that this is truth. (Because, really, why would I even lie about this?)
As soon as I heard you say, "No, wait, hold on!" I looked up from my phone and reached out toward the doors to try and stop them from closing. But, you know how -- and especially with older elevators -- when the doors are closing, it's almost like there's a point of no return and they're closing anyway?
That's where the doors were when I heard you, because if I would've stuck my hand out, I only would've been able to slide my fingers in the gap that was left and there's no doubt they would've shut on them and crushed them.
After I realized that wasn't going to work, I hit the "open doors" button a few times, but it either didn't take or it was too late and I was already on my way up to the top floor. I'm hoping you heard what I screamed back out to you from inside the elevator, though.
I'm sorry, I promise I tried!
I'm hoping you heard me. I'm hoping you weren't mad and that you understood it was just horrible timing. But also, if you think I'm a massive scumbag sucknugget pooface, I understand and I'm sorry.
Next time, I'll wait to do anything on my phone until the elevator starts moving to try and avoid this. So, I'm sorry again, and I guess thank you for the life lesson?