Memorial Day weekend is usually opening season for most campgrounds and that's coming right up.  OK, I'll admit it.  Hi, my name is Sarah...I'm from Maine (in a round a bout kinda way) and I hate camping!  That's right.  Sleeping outside is for deer, birds, squirrels, trash pandas, skunks....you get where I'm headed and I'm none of these things.  Camping is just...icky.  

Here are the reasons I despise camping!

  1. Sleep on the ground.  If you are traveling in a motorhome, that is NOT camping.  If you can park it at Walmart, it is not camping!  You don't see anyone pitching a tent in the Walmart parking lot.  If you have a camper or RV permanently fixed at a campground with a fence and flowers planted...this is NOT camping!  Because if I was in a luxury motorhome with a generator, running water, a/c or heater, a full kitchen, living room, private bedrooms, whirlpool tub...then I'd go camping!
  2. Campfires.  It never fails that whenever I attempt to sit around a campfire, I always have smoke blowing in my face.  I move my chair...smoke follows.  I've heard a saying 'smoke follows the fool'...I guess that's me.
  3. Bugs.  This should have been #1.  But really, all these are #1 reasons I hate camping.  Mosquitoes, black flies, bees...I don't need to elaborate.  If you're from Maine, you know what I'm talking about.  Nuff said.
  4. No TV.  Yup, that's important to me.
  5. Other people's kids.  Yes, I said...other....people's....kids.  It always seems like my kids meet other kids at the campground park and bring them to our campsite.  They start eating our food and just STAY.  I'm thinking 'don't your parents wonder where you are?'  Or is this how I send my kids away to camp?  Drop them off at a local campground and say 'Have fun'...you'll find someone to mooch off of.
  6. It's not my home...or the Marriott.
  7. Unpredictable weather.  You can spend weeks planning a camping trip.  Make reservations waaaaaaaaaay in advance.  Guess what?  It rains.  Everything is wet and soggy.  You're cold.  Or if it's too hot, there's no fans or air conditioning.  You're at the mercy of Mother Nature...and lately, she's been kinda cranky.
  8. No Spa!!  I go on vacation away from home....there better be a spa where I'm staying.
  9. Going potty.  You have to walk to the other end of the campground to use the restroom or pee in the woods.
  10. It's not Disney.
  11. Chores.  I swear I do more cleaning, organizing, picking up wet towels, cooking than I do when I'm home.  Oh yea, sure...sign me up.

I know...I said top 10...but I'm learning common core math now and my counting these days is a little off.