How I Almost Got Run Over At My Auburn Wal Mart

I will be hosting Thanksgiving this year and in order to do that, I need stuff and things. I didn't realize how much goes into hosting a holiday dinner. Not only do you need the food but you also need the booze and decorations.

Now a days, many "hosters" buy fancy place settings, wine glasses, and seasonal décor to Pinterest the hell out of the dinner. I am not here to impress anyone, however I do want to see if I have what it takes to pull off a massively amazing Thanksgiving dinner.

I put together a very long shopping list, with a lot of help from my Mother. So, I grabbed my recyclable shopping bags, ear buds, and sunglasses and off I went.

I decided to go around noon because I was told that may be a good time and it may not be too busy. But, I was wrong. Because everyone and their Aunts were at Wal Mart. I was just another sardine packed in a row of other sardines, trying to get cranberry sauce.

I decided to start in the make-up aisle because it is my safe place. Not many shoppers are in that area so I grabbed a few too many items and centered myself before jumping into the jungle again.

There is a part of all of this that is kind of cool. The hustle and bustle of people determined to make their holidays perfect for their families. However, what I noticed at Wal Mart was the look in every ones eyes.

I almost felt like I was at the world series and it was tied. Every single person had blinders on, walking fast and b-lining it to their items.

At one point and this is the biggest thing that occurred to me. I was walking down the main aisle and noticed a man in a motorized wheel chair. We made eye contact and I did the "can I go? or would you like to go first", you know what I mean, I was talking to him with my eyes. Trying to see if he wanted to go or if he wanted me to go. That only lasted a few seconds. I then just started walking and he revved up his motor and cut me off. Ya, he cut me off right in the middle of the aisle and gave zero F's.

It was brutal. I didn't say anything because I was shocked but I did make sure that I was aware of all of my surrounding because that day, at Wal Mart something was in the water. The moon was full and I was not taking any chances.

Also, don't get me started in the liquor aisle, pure madness. At one point I was browsing the baking aisle and saw two older ladies, who were separately shopping. They were both staring at their lists in a way that if their eyes had lasers, the paper would have torn in half.

As Mainers, we are determined to make our holidays good. I love our fierce shopping abilities.

I ended up running into 9 people that I knew as well. People I haven't seen in ages and of course I was wearing sweatpants.

My trip to the Auburn Wal Mart at noon on Tuesdays was nuts. Next year, I'll probably order online.