ROADTRIP!!! 15 Weirdest Summer Festivals In The Grand Ol’ US of A

God bless the USA!!  From sea to shining sea we are just filled with goofballs and weirdos.  If you fit in this category, then pull out your bucket list and start taking notes. I've got 15 of...not 'the' but thee'...weirdest summer festivals, right here in the continental United States (continental means where all states touch...so not including Hawaii & Alaska...I know, you're shocked, it's not breakfast)

According to Thrillist, here's the 15 states you're gonna wanna hit...and trust me, there's something for everyone...

First stop is Avon, Ohio for the Duct Tape Festival.  You know the saying 'If you can duct it...throw it out'...or something like that.  This is coming right up, June 17-19.  There will be everything from a Duct Tape Parade and a Duct Tape Fashion Show.  Admission is FREE

Moving along, to the UFO event of the year...The UFO Festival is coming up at the end of the month in Roswell, NM (but, of course).  I believe...do you?  There will be an Alien Costume Contest.  Free Family Activities and lectures about alien DNA (yes, please)

Next on the itinerary, July 8th & 9th is the Lebowski Festival in Louisville, Kentucky.  There are no words.  But, yes, I would classify this under weird.

The Lebowski Festival not your 'thing'...skip it...and cluck and roll your way to Wayne, Nebraska for the Chicken Show. There will be a guest appearances by the 'Chickendales'.  The event runs July 8 - 10.

Fill up the gas tank and put the pedal to the metal, because the same weekend as the Chicken Show, there's the San Fermin in Nueva Orleans...that's New Orleans...just fancy schmancy.  This is like running of the bulls...but instead it's women on skates.  So, I guess it's like the running of the Bit....oh never mind.  So the women on skates chase the runners.  Yup...weird

One day only...and that's July 9th, you can get a way with pullin' down yer pants and moonin an Amtrak train as it passes a bar in Laguna Niguel, California.  Clever name for this event is 'Mooning of the Amtrak'.  I guess you have to experience this one twice...once from the train and once while yer moonin'

Pull yer pants back up and quickly head to the east coast for the Underwater Music Festival in Key West, Florida...which is on the same day as the above event.

There will be NO PICTURES of this next festival and note that it is an ADULT ONLY state of affairs.  The Nudes-A-Poppin Fest takes place in Roselawn, Indiana and is...well...how do I put this???  It's an event where naked ladies spread their legs and grasp on to trophies using their...ahem...well, their....hoo ha's.  Master of Ceremonies: Ron Jeremy (oh, my! I'm so shocked...note sarcasm)  This is beyond weird and just plan OUCH.

Next on our agenda is the Great Texas Mosquito Festival in Arizona.  No no, I'm being weird...it's in Texas.  Clute, Texas actually.  It takes place from July 28 - 30.  Best part is, volunteers are currently needed...so there ya go.  Also, it's not even about mosquitoes.  Nope.  It's about BBQ'ing.

July 29 - 31 it's all about B-O-L-O-G-N-A at the Yale Bologna Fest in Yale, Michigan.  Over 20,000 starved bologna weirdos attend this event...there's even a bologna baby contest.  Doh.

How do we describe this next one?  Starting in August, it's the Testy Festy.  Oh, that's right.  Testicles.  Bull testicles.  Rocky Mountain Oysters.  This is all happening in Rock Creek, Montana.  You can participate in bull-ball eating contest, the Undie 500 and 'big balls' challenge...where, yes...men's 'man berries' are judged by a panel of women.

OK...I think my RoadTrip has gone far enough. To see the rest of the 'weirdest' festivals this summer, click here.