Reason #325 Why Kristi Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Cook

While making a little after-dinner treat last night, I had a little kitchen mishap, and it was one like I've never had before. Now let us be real, I'm not a culinary god by any means; in fact, I really shouldn't be allowed to cook at all.

Here is a little back story on my not so great cooking skills.

At the young age of 14, I tried making a knock-off McChicken sandwich at home, and it was my first attempt at deep-frying something alone without adult supervision. Let's just say; I should have put it in the microwave. The grease caught fire, so I carried the pan to the sink where I did the biggest no-no in putting out a grease fire, I added water—Que BIGGER fire. Next thing I knew, the kitchen curtains were engulfed in flames. I attempted to grab the frying pan and clearly take it out of the house, not my best idea. I dropped the pan, and at that very moment, I imagined the whole house going up in flames. Thankfully my sister's boyfriend at the time just happened to be coming home and saw smoke billowing out of the house. He ran in saved the whole day, my life, and our house. Thanks, Joey.

Jump ahead a few years to age 16 and the very first time I made my now-husband Stephen breakfast. He kindly requested french toast. Easy peasy, right? Nope. What he ended up getting for breakfast was something totally different. Somewhere during the process, something went wrong, and in the end, he got scrambled eggs and toast. And, for some reason, clearly not for my cooking skills, he still chose to marry me. Haha.

Fast forward to last night; I cooked dinner, you see where I said cooked dinner, not made dinner? Hannaford did all the prep work and the dishes with their oven-ready meals; all I did was put it in the oven. Dessert, though, was left for me to figure out. No biggie, fruit, come to die in my house, so I had an abundance of overly ripe bananas. I preheated the oven, placed my phone on the stovetop so I could read the recipe, I mixed up the banana bread batter, and got to baking. Within a minute or two, my phone malfunctioned, and up popped a warning that I had never seen.

TEMPERATURE - iPhone needs to cool down before you can use it. Apparently, the heat from the oven radiated up and made my phone overheat. I always learn something new when I cook. This time it was not to put my phone on the stove while cooking.

Long story short, here is reason #325 why I'm just not cut out to cook. So Hannaford, if you're reading this.. can you please make oven-ready dairy-free desserts too? It would really help this girl out!

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